Echoes from the Bell Tower

"A monk must not presume in any circumstances to defend another in the monastery or to be his champion - even if related by blood.”

Rule of Saint Benedict 69: 1-2

Inevitably, in a large community of men like ours, friendship groups form. We generally like being around certain people more than others, for various reasons; we identify with them in certain ways, or they are simply likeable people. Affability, being “likeable”, is a character trait that we can all strive to cultivate in ourselves.

Friendship is natural and good. But sometimes, also naturally, one can identify so closely with a friendship group that we close ourselves off to forming meaningful relationships with those not associated with that group. Worse, in-group identification can close us off from really listening to others whose viewpoints and perspectives on things differ from those of our in-group.

The latter may be “natural”, but it is not good, especially if one is interested in building a community that is open and receptive to people with different backgrounds, interests and temperaments. Contention undermines monastic harmony and peace. This can happen if I presume to identify with the position of another and defend it with passion because “he is one of us”, part of my in-group, a friend.

If I express my viewpoint with others, I should do it in a way that is open and honest, but “dispassionately”, and not overly invested in “my-way-or-the highway” thinking. To be dispassionate requires a certain measure of conscientiousness – a basic attribute of character (along with affability).

This quality of awareness considers that others may feel different than I do, and that the variety of experience represented in the community may lead to very different opinions and perspectives. To “presume to defend another”, or another’s opinion, in a forceful (passionate) manner leads to needless contention in the community. We are instructed by St. Benedict to refrain from such behavior. Even blood kinship is no excuse – we are all brothers in Christ.

Let peace be your quest and aim (RB Prol) – be honest when expressing your opinions but be dispassionate about it so that others can have room to express theirs as well. This is how we find our way together, to what is best, what is true, what is just.