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I was very shy in high school.

Like, painfully shy.

I had a few close friends who I spent most of my time with, but otherwise, I was content to be alone with my books and television shows. With my family I was different – I’m sure they would describe me as the opposite of shy – but among my peers I kept myself hidden.

When I went off to college, I wondered about what kind of person I would be. I didn’t have any strong inclinations towards a particular major, I didn’t feel especially passionate about a club or a team; I was the shy, uncomfortable girl I had been in high school. I went to class, I took notes, and I followed the lead of my freshman year roommate who was one of my friends from high school.

But little by little, I opened up. I discovered new depths in my relationship with God. I let people see me. I saw them in return. I developed deep friendships. I was open and kind and became a home for people who needed a listening ear. I grew more confident as I uncovered my hidden gifts. I learned to love community – imperfect as it was – and became a leader at the campus Newman Center.

And the biggest shock of all – I stood in front of a whole room of people on a retreat and gave a witness about my faith journey.

I bet if I had looked for her in that moment, I would have seen high school Cassie in the back of the room, so proud of who she became.

See, I had bought into the lie that I could not change. That I would be a certain way forever. That growth was impossible. That I had to find life-long accommodations for my lack of confidence and self-love.

I needed freedom from these lies.

I needed to recognize the God-given freedom already inside of me; the freedom that allows me to be fully alive and fully human.

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It can be difficult for us to believe that we are capable of change, of conversion. Even more difficult is the surrender that it takes to allow conversion to happen.

Because that’s the truth – conversion happens when we surrender. Our freedom comes from our surrender.

But take heart: Not only is it possible for us to experience conversion, but it is the work of a lifetime. We will spend our whole lives doing this work; or more accurately, we will spend our whole lives learning how to surrender and allow God to do this work in us.

And rather than be discouraged by repeatedly learning the same lessons, we see the heart of God in all of this. He never tires of calling us back to Himself. He never tires of healing us. He never tires of forgiving us. He never tires of giving good things to us. He never tires of hearing from us. He never tires of our mistakes and our weaknesses because it is precisely there that He will bring freedom.

This Jubilee Year is all about freedom.

Indeed, the whole of our lives is about surrendering our hearts to God and living in the freedom for which we were created. The Lord desires this for us; He desires that we would rest in the truth that He can and will bring about conversion in our lives. He wants us to live, fully healed and fully alive, in communion with Him forever.

In this Jubilee Year, Lord, we pray that you would continue to free our hearts and invite us into deeper conversion – “that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed.” (Heb 12:13) Amen.

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In this jubilee year, +Pope Francis invited each of us to be a pilgrim of hope. In this spirit, the Young Adult Initiative will publish monthly blogs related to the jubilee year and our role as pilgrims on the journey.